Sunday, June 7, 2009

Who Do You Look Like?


I got to looking at a few old ID cards with my photo on them, and thought. . .y'know, I wasn't all that bad lookin' back then. Now, of course, I'm a pumpin-headed freak. But it wasn't always so. Sure, the double-chin has been a curse, even when I was a whisp of a thing. But it didn't stop people from telling me I looked like various famous people.

For a while, after Blue Velvet came out, but before Twin Peaks, I was told I looked a little like Kyle McLaughlin. Cool, I thought, who's Kyle McLaughlin? Then the Twin Peaks craze hit our little hamlet, and we liked it so much, we had parties and dressed in costume. I played the "Agent Cooper" role, of course. There are a few similarities between McLaughlin and me, like the bright white skin and thin lips. But not much else.

My grandmother insisted that I looked like Michael J. Fox. I never believed this one for a minute. I--like Fox--am not very tall (though I'm taller than him by several inches) and we have a similar hair color, but that's about it.

Not too long after this, I started to get comments that I looked like Matthew Perry. This was taken as a compliment, and I can see it more than with McLaughlin or Fox. Matt is more attractive, but he has a bit of the same chin issue, has see-sawed in weight like me, and I'd certainly buy that he looks enough like me to be related. But not quite like me. Frankly, Joe Scarborough of MSNBC's Morning Joe looks more like Chandler Bing than I do.

Next--and at around the same time--I got a lot of Conan O'Brien. Now I like Conan, and I don't think he's unnatractive. But he's very tall and lanky, has a pointy chin, and very different features from mine. Only the hair (if I let mine grow, and I don't anymore) and skin tone are even close.

The only other celebrity comparison I can think of is one that makes me cringe a little. Drew Carey. Not that he's ugly, or anything, but he's a self acknowledged fat guy! And me, while I'm not the 140 lb., 30-inch waisted fella I used to be, still clock in at a fairly reasonable 160. Not bad for 43. Still, I can see a slight resemblence, though Carey looks more like what I imagine my brother might look like if he got heavy.

Truth is, I don't look much like anybody, except for those in my own family. And while I see a few similarities between most of these guys and me--if not each other--I guess I'll just have to be happy to be me. But if I ever decide to go under the knife, I have a few pictures that I could take with me that apparently, with just a few adjustments, could be a new me. Just not a very wide selection. . .

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