Captain Obvious: Marriage Rights Can't Be Gained With Lawyers

One of the chief arguments against same-sex or "gay marriage" is that all of the rights obtained through marriage can also be obtained through contracts. Supposedly, all that is conferred by the government can also be granted by hiring an attorney, and drawing up  a series of expensive documents (for things that are basically instantaneous and free to opposite-sex marrieds).

I'm here to tell you first hand, that isn't true. I'll give you the most prominent and obvious example. I'm lucky enough to have a (legal in five states) husband whose employer offers domestic partner benefits. That means I get health insurance through his benefits. But to the federal government, those benefits count as income. We pay income tax on the benefits. But if I were an opposite sex spouse, there would be zero taxes on the benefit. Simply put, if The Other Half had "married" a female friend--just for benefits, and nothing more--she'd be legally receiving health care gratis, with no responsibility to the federal government. But me, after 13 years with him, after 12 years of co-habitation, after three years of marriage. . .I don't qualify. So we pay hundreds of dollars in taxes.

So don't tell me that everything can be evened out with lawyers. And since when do conservatives like lawyers?