Friday, November 2, 2012

Crazy Creationists: Dinosaurs Fled the Flood!

Last night I posted a piece about Mitt Romney' literal belief in his wacky religion. And, I noted that as an atheist, I find 'em all wacky, so I'm not so much singling Mormonism out, as I am saying it's just extra special goofy. But Mitt's not alone in his belief in unbelievable things.

Somehow, I got on the Creation Ministries International mailing list. And these folks are literal believers in the book of Genesis. Just FYI, that's the book that set me on the road to atheism, because it was taught to me at the same time as freshman Earth science. Guess which book won? Anyway, Genesis is chock full of ridiculous things that only the deeply deluded could believe are literal. From the "firmament" to the items set into it, from the cleanliness rules to the list of sacrificial requirements, from the conflicting dual creation stories to there being light before there was a light source? All of it is frankly unbelievable.

But nothing is more ridiculous than the flood story. Forget that there are (again) two conflicting Noah's Ark stories, and different numbers of animals in each. There are problems with the size of the boat. There are problems with the technology of building such a boat. There's the problem of how every kind of animal got to the middle east, and then re-dispersed themselves back to from whence they came. There are the uncomfortable facts about feeding and housing these animals for such an extended period, and what they would do about the waste. How did they keep the animals from eating each other, or the humans? How did they transport the bacteria, viruses, insects, arachnids and amoeba? How did the sealife and freshwater animals survive in the stirred up, seawater/rainwater/sediment-filled water? How did plantlife and fungi survive submerged for 100 days? And we're not even talking about where the water came from, and where it went! Why would an "all-loving" god murder his "children," no matter how disobedient they were?

Creation Museum folly. Image from
On top of this is the question of dinosaurs. Why doesn't the Bible mention dinosaurs? Well, some try to parlay allusions of "dragons" and whatnot into dinosaurs, but it's a stretch. It actually makes the bible sound more like a bunch of fables to me. So, the question is, if man coexisted with dinosaurs, why do they get such scant coverage in the Bible? Why weren't they on the Ark? Did Noah take dinosaur eggs, rather than full-grown T-Rexes and Stegosauri? Why isn't it mentioned?

Obviously, it isn't mentioned, because the writer(s) of Genesis never heard of dinosaurs, and thus couldn't write about them. They didn't realize that the sun is the source of our light, so they could say it was created after light. They didn't know how clouds, the atmosphere, the orbits of the moon and planets, or stars in the universe worked, so they made crap up about the celestial bodies being placed in a bowl that separated the waters of heaven and earth. There are so many, countless, obvious problems with Genesis, an irreligious person like me just stands with my mouth agape. How can any adult take these fairy tales seriously?

And then I get my latest installment of further attempts at devising a narative that makes sense out of a book that really doesn't.  You know what I liken groups like Christian Ministries International to? I liken them to Rankin-Bass. You know, the studio that made such holiday classics as, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and The Year Without a Santa Claus. In those holiday specials, they took all of the implausibilities in the Santa Claus story, and explained them in such a way as to keep kids believing it just a little while longer. And as kids, we wanted to believe. That's all this foolishness is.

If you are interested (and I hope it's only for amusement value), you can find this group here: Christian Ministries International.

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