Friday, November 9, 2012

Captain Obvious: It's Time for Some People to Leave the Stage

We haven't heard from Captain Obvious for a while, and I thought it was time. But what is exceedingly obvious this week? Well, one very obvious thing is that the Right Wing World bubble caused a very large segment of the United States to be shocked that President Obama won re-election. They'd been assured that Mitt Romney was going to win. And not in a squeaker. It was going to be a landslide. Take the real result (332 for Obama, 206 for Romney) and flip it, and that was supposed to be Mitt's margin of victory.

So, herewith are the people and entities who should never be trusted again, assuming that they ever were worth any trust. In most cases, embarrassment should drive them off the stage. But it won't

Right-wingers trust this guy. They shouldn't.
Karl Rove - Yes, Turd Blossom himself. He's called "The Architect" by dunderhead Sean Hannity, but the architect of what exactly? He got George W. Bush elected in a swirl of controversy, and a loss in the popular vote. He managed to get W. re-elected, by smearing a war hero, and demonizing gay people. He participated in blowing the cover of a CIA agent and the cover of everyone she worked with. In 2006, he bungled his role in getting Republicans elected, insisting he had "the math," when in reality, the Republicans suffered a historic loss. He has been a sleaze of major proportions for his entire career.

Somehow, he parlayed a dubious success rate into becoming one of the largest money-wranglers for Republican candidates (and against Democrats), while commenting on FOX "News" as though he were a disinterested observer. The awkward nerd in Rove always put a lie to his power player status. With his magic marker and whiteboard, and his pudgy, unkempt appearance, he came across as not ready for prime time. He has proved to have an entirely undeserved reputation. Oh, the sleazy part is still there, in full force. His Crossroads GPS and American Crossroads groups would say anything in their ads, and Rove's money gathering talents are legendary. But his success rate is virtually nil. And right to the end, Rove again insisted this time that he had the math. Everyone else was wrong, Karl was right. Nope. Karl was wrong. And there is no reason whatsoever that he should have a vaunted place in punditry. His opinions, his methodology, everything he brings to the table. . .worthless.  Go away, Karl.

"Hot Librarian" is becoming "Shrewish Schoolmarm"
Sarah Palin - Caribou Barbie was plucked from obscurity just a little over four years ago, though it seems much longer ago. She came as a nearly blank slate, a rock-ribbed conservative who believed what she believed because she believed it. To call Sarah shallow would be accurate, were she not also empty. Hollow. She was a vessel waiting to be filled. And oh, how she crammed for her interviews, and her debate with Joe Biden. She was a star, an instant celebrity in Right Wing World. She didn't know much, but it didn't matter. She had a megawatt smile, and would say with conviction whatever she was supposed to say. So what, if it didn't make much sense?

Since her loss in 2008, she's managed to keep her profile high. There have been reality shows for her, her daughter, her husband. She's opined on multiple subjects, being employed by--naturally--FOX "News." Notably, the topics she addresses are very, very rarely in her wheelhouse. Doesn't matter, she strings together run-on sentences, with words like freedom, liberty, America, and phrases like, all across this country of ours and our God-given, freedom loving liberties. Also, too. But even with experience, and with her cramming sessions, Palin still really knows no more than she ever did. Her opinion makes no difference. She's a half-term Governor from a remote, sparsely populated state. Her input on the 2012 election had no more significance than the fact that she'd participated in an election before. There is no need for this woman's opinion on anything, ever. Go away, Sarah.

This is a Dick.
Dick Morris - Morris worked closely with Bill and Hillary Clinton back in the day. He got fired after getting caught in a scandal involving hookers and a foot fetish. Ordinarily, that would get a political player/pundit embarrassed out of politics. Not with Morris. He just turned on his former employers, and parlayed his "talents" into being a turncoat on--wait for it--FOX "News." They were happy to have even such a disgraced member of Team Clinton, since he was willing to trash them, and any other Democrat in the news.

Morris is eminently mockable, with a theatrical manner about him. He sounds like Harvey Fierstein's less talented (and less funny) cousin, with a slightly boozy, moist-mouthed delivery. He's no stranger to strained hyperbole, and hilariously wrong predictions. The final embarrassment, which should usher Morris off the stage permanently is his insistence that Mitt Romney would win in a landslide. He was declaring this right up until the end, asking viewers to follow his election night tweets on Twitter. And then, when it became obvious that Obama was going to win, Morris went dark. Wimp. Go away, Dick.

Just. . .no.
FOX "News" - It has been true for the entirety of the cable "news" channel's existence, that they are a far-right leaning opinion channel. Though they have for years tried to downplay it, nobody really doubts it. But beyond picking stories or angles that play to their audience, they've actively tailored the facts, pinning them, cutting them, restitching them, patching them. . .all to make their audiences happy. When they're not trying to alternately scare them of course.

But FOX--along with the rest of Right Wing World's blogs, radio stations and of course, Rush Limbaugh (who all belong on this list)--snowed their audience. They unskewed the "skewed" polls. They trotted out Morris and Palin and Rove to soothe them. They pooh-pooed Nate Silver and other real world pollsters. They lulled their audience into believing that the Mitt Romney juggernaut was going to smash that Communist, Marxist, Maoist, socialist, Kenyan, homosexual, black guy! Why they did this, when reality had to intrude, is difficult to say. Maybe they were into their own hype, heads up their own asses, you might say? Don't know. But I do know, they shouldn't hold the power they do. Go away, FOX "News."

Donald Trump: Trump has been a talentless, charisma-free jackass, blowhard from day one. He has been a front-and-center fool for the entirety of his dubious celebrity. In the best of circumstances, he's made fun of. For his hair, for his bluster, for his over-the-top ego. For some of that time, he seemed to be in on the joke.

Why has this man ever had credibility?
Not anymore. Trump has turned humorless, and his ego knows no bounds. His hyperbole and exaggerations are effortless to disprove, and yet he's constantly spewing. His ham-handed, graceless efforts at injecting himself into politics have been spectacular failures, all having self-promotion at their heart. His transparent claims that he had investigators and evidence that Obama was foreign born were baseless.  He claimed to have an "October Surprise" to change the course of the presidential election, and his (oh-so-gullible) right-wing fans waited breathlessly. It turned out to be a big nothing-ball, that should have ended any following he may have had. And yet, there he was on election night, declaring the end of America, and demanding revolution. Go away, Donald. Jackass.

Honorable mentions: Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, Peggy Noonan, Glenn Beck, Gretchen Carlson, Steve Doocey, Bill O'Reilly, Janine Turner, Victoria Jackson, Megyn Kelly,  John Boner Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney, Michael Reagan, George Will, and every other false-narrative-spinning, lowest-common-denominator-pandering, low-information-voter-hoodwinking, reality-ignoring idiot out there! Go! Go away!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Have something to say to us? Post it here!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...