It's a Family Affair

Yesterday, Mom threw a big party at the manse. It was a combo 40th birthday for my brother/post-baby showery-thing for my sister. Most of the guests were family friends, rather than contemporaries of my siblings, but it was fun to see everybody. Being 2,000 miles away, it can sometimes be years between visits for some of the people who used to be part of my daily/weekly/monthly life. Very odd and disconcerting sometimes.

My family (like most) has its share of spats and squabbles. Some are momentary and others are on slow-simmer. I think all told, it went pretty well. Nobody got into a fight or argument publicly, and private ones amounted to 30 seconds of sniping, followed by normalcy. I think that's just fine. The Other Half has--by outward appearances--a perfect "Norman Rockwell" family, big and friendly, warm and gracious. I've rarely witnessed anything resembling a fight between any of them.

By contrast, my family is fairly small, with strange steps and halves, exes and not-quite-marrieds. So, it's easy to romanticise the Leave it to Beaver ideal. But all in all, I think we did alright, and the party was a success. Now, if only I could make everybody realize all the squabbles are normal, then we actually might be a little more Norman Rockwelly ourselves!

UPDATE: Apparently, the party wasn't the grand success I thought it was. At least one family member was wounded by a perceived slight that was not intended. This brewed into a brouhaha. I believe it has been resolved, but only time will tell. These family situations can be tricky. I can only encourage my family to remember that they ARE FAMILY, and that shit storms tend to pass in families. Take a chill pill, and get the freak over it already. And if you have a problem with that, address this editor directly. Smooches!

UPDATED UPDATE: My last update was rather harsh, so I thought I'd take a moment to reflect upon it, and give a more reasoned wrap-up. I believe whatever issues were present have been resolved. At least, I certainly hope they have. The ifs and whys and wherefores are unimportant. Families have tiffs, and sometimes mostly uninvolved family members get drawn into a larger drama that they may not have cause to jump in on with both feet. My bad. But the larger point stands: if two or more family members are at each other's throats--or even icily avoiding each other's throats--in the long run, things tend to work out. There's very little way to force a resolution. It has to be organic. If the disagreement is causing you grief, I think you've got to compartmentalize, draw yourself back from the situation, and just be supportive. Be a gentle advisor. And try not to take it so personally. My two cents. And more sincere, less sarcastic smooches.