Friday, March 2, 2012

Conspiracy Corner: Breitbart Was Totally Killed by White House!

I didn't mean for this to become the "all Breitbart, all the time" blog, and predicted I'd never talk about him in my most recent post. But I added the caveat that I'd drop the subject unless there was a surprise. I think this qualifies, thought it should probably fall into the "shouldn't surprise you, but still does" category. I bring to you the possible replacement conspiracy theory to the birthers and the after-birthers (ew): the Breitbarters! They're so crazy, that after a harmless (but initially suspicious) package was delivered to Rush Limbaugh, they'd incorporated that into the theory. This shit moves fast these days, kids.


"I think he was so effective that he was murdered... and there are those that openly wanted him gone."

"If they really wanted him gone, then they could not have chosen a better time. His death sucked the air out of Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s press conference on Obamao’s forged documents."

[Editor: LMFO!]

All screen caps found at
"He was walking alone late at night. Someone could have poisoned his drink in the bar, or got him with a KGB-style umbrella injecting in the calf. Motive: he was a very active and influential opponent of the far left-wing forces who openly confronted the Occupy creeps, and recently revealed that he had damning videos of the Dictator-in-Chief, who happens to be from Chicago, a bedrock of mob-style hits. Can’t rule anything out yet."

[Ed.: Impressive!]

"I'm surprised that it has taken this long. Expect more now that the Media has proudly provided [Rush's] address to the idiots on the left. Gated community might slow them down."

"Very little mention of the jogger seen running by Breitbart minutes before he collapsed, according to the witness."

[Ed.: Quick! Call CSI: Brentwood!]

"Breitbart ...warning. Limbaugh... Beck... Somebody trying to silence free speech?"

[Ed.: BECK? Who on earth cares about Beck?]

"So sorry about Breitbart, and now Rush. God save us from the loony left. Please let Rush and family be okay. They really want to shut us up, but if it’s war they want, it’s was they will get!!!!"

[Ed.: Fellow libs, they're on to us! Let's hope they don't have gun racks on their Rascal scooters!]

"[In response to the message above:] Yep, they are just BEGGING for it. And they shall recieve [sic]."

[Ed.: Wow. They've declared war on a mythical "they."]

"Way too many Freepers are conspiratorially-minded. Men who have defective hearts have heart attacks in their 40s which are often fatal. Sometimes things are as they are and there is no need to attribute them to 'outside forces.'"

[Ed.: Huh. A FReeper "concern troll" or a rare voice of reason?]

"Makes me wonder if the libs are trying to scare us into keeping obama [sic] in the WH by offing conservatives. I hope our four candidates have guards. Obama comes from the most corrupt sity [sic] in the nation and I put nothing past them. Firdt [sic] Breitbart and then Rush. To coincidental. It is WAR!!"

[Ed.: I was unaware that Honolulu was the corruption capital!]

"If his family were smart, they’d insist on an independent autopsy. I wouldn’t trust an opinion by anyone in bed with LAPD and Hollywood libs."

[Ed.: As with all conspiracy theories, there are many--maybe hundreds, maybe thousands--of co-conspirators.]

"Do you think the ME isn’t in on it?"

[Ed.: See?]

"It will take blood...eventually."

[Ed.: Somebody should really be keeping an eye on these people.]

"Sounds like 'they' are warning some folks. 'Don’t be like Brietbart [sic].'"

[Ed.: Wow.]

 "He could have been poisoned when he ate with Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dorn."

"I had the SAME thought. Beck has said in recent weeks bad things he won't go into any detail about have been happening to his family, himself and staff."

[Ed.: Disturbed minds think alike! And again with Beck? Only this crowd thinks Beck is anything other than a loon.]

"Andrew was killed.......I hope someone has those videos of the liar in cheif [sic]"

[Ed.: OMG!  Barack Hussein Obama must've been the mysterious jogger! It's all making sense now!]

"It’s mathematically possible to calculate the chance that a 42 [sic] year old would die of a heart attack in the same month that he is going to release politically damaging information. What you do is you determine the chance of the first event and multiply it by the percentage representing the second event.I’ll let you know, the probability of the first event is less than 0.01. Necessarily, the probability of both events is less than the probability of the first."

[Ed.: Must be that new math. That new crazy math.]

"I still cannot get over it. Maybe, just maybe, he had to fake his own death to save his family?"

[Ed.: And now, we have an alternate conspiracy theory. Interesting. . .]

"Weird day. Andrew Breitbart is silenced. Sheriff Joe reveals the birth certificate is an obvious forgery. And Rush gets a bomb scare.  The Rush one is interesting as maybe more credible threats had been recently made to his security team and they were on high alert. Weirder and weirder."

[Ed.: Breitbart looked 15 years older than he was, Rush's "scare" was a false alarm, and Sheriff Joe is a loony birfer. But I guess this is keeping these weirdos busy.]

All quotes found at the right-wing central command, I'd give you a link, but you can find this crap all over their site. 

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