Confessional: I Don't Understand MySpace

Intentionally difficult to read graphic by Editor (click to enlarge)

It is a fact of life that when we get older, we will not understand what the younger generation is "into." That means music, fashion, and slang. And right now, for me, that includes MySpace.

Many times, I've found links to people's MySpace pages that seem to have some sort of interesting content. Invariably, once I click the link, I'm taken to a page that is a horror to behold--unintentionally I'd imagine. My profession as a graphic designer probably accentuates this attitude. And understand, I'm aware of some of the limitations of the medium. My blog here on Blogger.com doesn't look quite as nice as I'd like it to either. Going outside the parameters of Blogger's templates is hard work.

That in mind, let's say you find that your favorite actor has a MySpace page, and the story you find about it talks about great pictures and video on that page. Intrigued, you click the link. . .and are taken to hell. Visual and audio hell, that is. On the background, there is an image that fairly obliterates most of the text, unless you scroll it to just the right place where you can read half a line. An audio file begins playing. . .with no obvious source, and no way to turn it off. You see that the actor has 28,562 "friends," with pictures of themselves, and inane, fawning chatter. If you happen to find a link to photos or videos, the link goes to a generic MySpace page. And you find none of the things you clicked through for.

This happens every time I try. And to be honest, I don't try it much anymore. I just simply and completely don't get it. And hey, I'm no dummy. I'm the "go-to" guy for coworkers and friends alike with virtually any computer issue. It's got to be an age thing. But word of advice, kids: if you're going to use a background image on a web page, dim it by 75% or something. Otherwise, it's just awful.