Computer Woes: Skynet Is Alive! (UPDATED)

UPDATE: Success!!! The computer was updated, cleaned up and damned near perfect, considering it was built in 2003. A damned sight better than the Pentium III it replaced. I hooked it up at work Tuesday morning, and with a little help from the laser cutter people, we were back up and running.

This is not what happened, because of me! Or wait, maybe in spite of me?

Until closing time. I was on my way out the door, having stayed late to help my bosses with their new Android phones. I looked out the front window, and FIRE!!! Our laser room, which is across the parking lot from the main building. The bay door was open, and the laser table was on fire. Not a little smouldering, a full-blown blaze. Now, I can't tell you that I'm 100% sure the new computer setup didn't lead to the fire. But I don't think so. And I also think the computer survived the fire. Can't say the same for the laser cutter. More will be determined tomorrow. I figure, I discovered the blaze, I called 911, and an employee put the thing out before the fire department got there. So, I escaped before being trapped by a fire truck! Hopefully, all of it will be sorted out, and the problem will lie in a shorted wire or an ungreased threadscrew or something.

But, I can't say for sure that it wasn't caused by Skynet. Particularly when you figure my old computer was rescued from a closet, only to be banished to the laser room with no internet connection. . . So, the plot thickens.
 

ORIGINAL POST:

I'm serious, I think there is some sort of computer conspiracy, but I'm not sure if it's caused by humans or by the machines themselves. First, I started to notice that every computer I use (my home PC, my home MacBook, and my work PC) started seeming dreadfully slow. My work PC started randomly losing all of its printers. My boss's computer refuses to keep a printer driver function at all. Certain programs on my work PC suddenly seem to need to be run as an administrator.

But it gets worse. Even after loading a "cleaning" program on the Mac, it's still as slow as molasses. My previous bargain basement Celeron laptop was faster. Then, my home PC--less than 3 years old--died a stone cold death. I related this on the blog when it happened. Immediately after, one of our work computers crapped out. Then I revived it, then it was dead again. As a stone. We ordered a new computer on Cyber Monday for a sweet deal, and while we were waiting for it? Another work computer died. And the new one is too new to run the machines! Wonderful! I've had several calls from other people whose computers have also wigged out. I'm thinking we've got a few weeks, maybe months. And the machines' plans will be clear. But will it be too late?

Anyway, right now, I'm playing Dr. Frankenstein on one of my old computers to see if it can be cleaned up enough to use at work. So, the blog might suffer for the evening. Just so you know, the machines haven't got me. Yet.