Here We Go Again: The Perennial FOX "News" War on Christmas™

Do I even need to write a new introduction? This is my sixth holiday season doing this blog, and it's the same thing every year. Already, we've got Bill O'Reilly on FOX "News" declaring that Christianity is a philosophy, not a religion, and thus, no conflict with church and state. Sigh. Here, let's see how it went last time. . .

LAST YEAR'S INTRO:

I wasn't planning on re-running my "War on Christmas" post again until closer to the holiday season, when I need a little more time for family and friends. But Tuesday, on my short commute home, I listened to KXNT, one of the Las Vegas right-wing talk stations. KXNT had a major revamp this year, and though evidence is hard to find, I would bet they're not doing as well as they used to. Sure, they've still got Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, but they shuttled the aggressively annoying Mark Levin to a tape-delayed slot in favor of local host Alan Stock [Note: Stock has since been fired and shuttle to a different station].

I've had personal run-ins with Stock when they allowed comments on their web page, during the anti-gay marriage constitutional effort here in Nevada (which was, alas, successful). I'm not a fan, but I listen to see what he's up to. Tuesday's topic of discussion was the "War on Christmas," and Stock had a man--I didn't catch his name--who was spearheading an assault on retailers to feature "Merry Christmas" in their advertising campaigns.  Stock--who is Jewish--sort of blew the guy's whole point, when the man wished him a Merry Christmas. Stock said [paraphrasing here], "Well, for me, it's Happy Hanukkah. I said that before, but he didn't get it." Exactly! Bingo! My point was proven.

ORIGINAL POST:

Let me first say that "the War on Christmas" is a ridiculous myth that is only believed by drooling, mouth-breathing FOX-heads. It's stupid, sooooo stupid, and yet every year they get energized by it. The very fact that "Christians" are all up in arms because the holiday of Christmas is not commercial enough, is part of the stupid.

Let me lay this out for you, Christmas Warriors: "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons' Greetings" are not a new invention. They've been around for decades, possibly over a century. People who say these phrases and print them on cards, packaging and advertising are not trying to insult anybody. They're not trying to denigrate your religious beliefs or anyone else's. It's a nice thing to say, and is universally relayed with the best of intentions. You taking offense is stupid.

Get this through your thick skulls. Christmas is one day. Two if you count Christmas Eve. It makes no sense to be wishing people "Merry Christmas" from Thanksgiving until New Year's Day. "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons' Greetings" are nice catch-all phrases that not only spare you from having to guess your intended's religious holiday beliefs, the phrases cover: Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, not to mention Advent, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and Chanukah. It's not a freaking war on Christmas.

Christmas is the most over-celebrated, over-prepared for, over-abundant holiday there is. The fact that any sane person thinks it is somehow under attack; in some sort of danger of being cancelled; or somehow not celebrated enough is stupid.

Captain Obvious: No, FOX "News," Straight Marriage Isn't Over

"The Stupid! It Burns!" It's one of my favorite internet memes, because it will never be outdated, never be out of place. There will always be stupidity in massive quantities in America. And one of the most stupid statements? That "gay marriage" (or same-sex marriage, or marriage equality) becoming legal will somehow impact, invalidate or destroy "traditional" opposite-sex marriage.

I suspect the notion comes from the no shades of gray, lack of nuance, binary, black-and-white way of thinking you find amongst many conservatives. It's a very simplistic, shallow way of thinking, really. In reality, same-sex marriages are legal in several states and municipalities, and it has had no effect on opposite-sex marriages. This is no longer a hypothetical question. People still get straight-married in Massachusetts (and stay married!), many years after Adam and Steve (or Addie and Eve) have legally been allowed to marry. The fact that I'm married to someone of my own sex does not make the practice mandatory, only possible. It doesn't prevent anyone from having a straight marriage, or encourage anyone who hadn't already realized they were gay to marry someone of their own sex.

Frankly, the very notion is bizarre. But it really should come as no surprise that the folks on FOX "News" are confused about it, and very upset. Or, rather, they know that their audience is confused and upset about it, and know exactly who they are playing to.

[Excerpt]

Fox News analyst panics over same sex marriage licenses: ‘What will happen to heterosexual marriage?’



Fox News legal analyst Peter Johnson Jr. is terrified that society as we know will change “forever” if Washington state moves forward with creating gender-neutral marriage certificates. . . .

Read more at: Raw Story

Rainn Wilson: Don't Watch "Filth" Like The Office

The Office still manages to be funny, even in its second season after the departure of Steve Carrell. It's not really "must see TV" anymore, but you could certainly do a lot worse. One of the reasons for its consistency is Rainn Wilson, the delightfully odd and creepy Dwight Schrute. This timely clip skewers Angus T. Jones' religiously nutty dissing of his own show, Two and a Half Men, another sitcom that lost its original star, and plods along anyway.

Stephanie Miller and Bill Press Apologize and Denounce Salvation Army Fundraiser

Image from AfterEllen

To the average person, there is nothing wrong with The Salvation Army. It's a nifty chain of thrift stores, and a charity outfit that collects change in kettles outside of grocery stores. But it is prudent to remember the "Salvation" part of their name (and possibly the "Army" part). This is a religious organization, and a socially conservative one at that. They've had a long and storied history of anti-gay policies in particular. As one of the gays, I've been subtly aware of this history, and avoid associating with the organization.

Stephanie Miller and Bill Press--both radio and Current TV hosts--didn't get the memo. They agreed to a fundraising drive for The Salvation Army, and Steph had a representative for the group on the air for an interview. I happened to be listening, and found it odd. But in truth, the guy was selling a bill of goods to Steph and her audience. To me, it sounded like the organization was changing their ways. But, no, they're not. Unsurprisingly, both shows started to take heat, some of it ridiculously venomous.

Image found at The Progressive Puppy

Look Stephanie Miller is gay. Her producer Chris LaVoie is gay. Many of their regular guests are gay or "gay adjacent" like Hal Sparks. No way, no how did the show knowingly promote anti-gay bigotry. Settle down people. And now, both Steph and Bill Press have apologized profusely, rescinded their sponsorship agreement, and personally matched funds already raised for The Trevor Project. Yes, they goofed. But they made it right.

Grandma Got Run Over by John Boehner (Rocky Mountain Mike Parody)

Another good one from The Stephanie Miller Show's Rocky Mountain Mike, to the tune of (what else?) Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer!

 

Dolly Parton on The Colbert Report

I watch The Colbert Report most nights, but I forced my sleepy self to stay up on a tired night to catch his interview with Dolly Parton. As a kid, I thought she was pure cheese, but after 9 to 5 and Best Little Whorehouse in Texas? I've been a big fan ever since. The funny thing is, Stephen Colbert sings "Love is Like a Butterfly" with Dolly, which happens to have been the theme song to her super-cheesy 70s variety show! Oh well, it was great.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Porn Star Nina Hartley Fucks Pastor Hagee... On Video.

As a monkey who has met this woman once & again I would like to offer a standing stupid monkey ovation to Ms. Hartley & her exXxtreme intellect... Good on you girl. XxXposing stupid is a commendable action.

For the record, "dozens of adult films" is putting it lightly...









Porn star punks Pastor Hagee: ‘I considered flashing my boobs’ (via Raw Story )

A porn star who has appeared in dozens of adult films recently came face to face with a conservative pastor who believes that “America’s hope for survival is the anointed preaching of the gospel with such force that the chains” of pornography are broken. Larry Flynt’s Hustler provided Raw Story…

What Was It???

Was it Porn?... Guns?... Hookers?... Blow?... Oh yeah...

The Stupid Monkey would like to offer a heartfelt apology to our Dear Editor for the failed assignment...

On another note: I would like to congratulate my stupid monkey brain for finally remembering what it was I was supposed to do.

Happy Thanksgiving.

In Case You Missed It: FOX "News" Guest Insults Them On Air

Please excuse me while I try to get back into this "blogging" thing. A few days away, and I seem to have lost some oomph, some verve! Don't worry, I'll get it back. In the mean time, check out the dude who blasted FOX on air, and then--those jack-wagons--we're told he apologized, even though he didn't.

[Excerpt]

Fox News Simply Does Not Care For Lying Liar Guest Lying That They Are Liars


If you ever find yourself in the unenviable position of being interviewed on Fox News, there is a very easy way to cut that interview short, apparently! You engage in a nuanced presentation of the issue at hand, and then you simply point out that Fox News is the media wing of the Republican Party and presto chango, you will no longer be talking to Jon Scott or Jenna Lee about asinine bullshit that no one except Fox News cares about. And as a bonus, it will shortly be explained for you how you groveled and apologized! . . .

Read more at: Wonkette

Charlie Crist Alleges Voter Suppression Attempts in Florida

Yes, another Rachel Maddow Show clip. Can't help it, this is good stuff. Rachel interviewed former Republican Florida Governor Charlie Crist. And the most interesting part of the interview is Crist's certainty that all of the voter shenanigans in the State of Florida were a deliberate attempt to disenfranchise Democratic voters. I mean, we knew that, but it's nice to have an in-the-know politician admit it.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Gossip Around the Christmas Tree (Rocky Mountain Mike Song Parody)

I'm not much for the General Petraeus affair, or any of the Real Housewives-type drama around it. But I dig Rocky Mountain Mike's parodies, and always could use a fresh spin on "contemporary" Christmas tunes! I missed this one while away in Ohio. Enjoy.

Reality Chasm Between GOP Rhetoric and Actions

The GOP alternate reality machine usually chugs along, on message between its official mouthpieces, the elected officials, and what "some say" on FOX "News." Lately, they way the GOP has been depicting itself to the beltway press has differed greatly from what they're actually doing though.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Morgan Freeman's HRC Ad for Marriage Equality

Very nice! I mean, only George Burns was more authoritative as God, right?

Travelogue Epilogue: Plane-O-Phobia

Image from VillageHiker

They stagger unsteadily to their feet, like newly born deer. Having heard the soft "bong!" they have stirred from their fitful, zombie-like trances. Though they have been roused, they are clearly not fully alert, nor even cognizant of where they are, or what they should be doing. Slowly--oh, so slowly--a dim awareness begins to flicker, sputtering into a vague knowing. As the others in front of them begin to clear a path, these doughy, slovenly creatures start to move. Not with a purpose, not even with an obvious sense of direction. As though a switch has been flipped, each of them--one at a time--has the realization that they did not come to this place without belongings. They sleepily grope around them, tugging blindly at the items surrounding their berths. It is only when the path before them is utterly clear before they even begin to understand what is going on around them.

Image from Wired.

While the more alert of their brethren watch helplessly from behind them, these lummoxes can be seen finally, finally approaching sentience. Suddenly, they remember: "I have a suitcase in the overhead compartment. I should get that now. Wait, I have to put my sweatshirt on first. And where is my scarf? Oh, here it is, okay, now wait. . ." Like a traffic jam correcting itself in agonizingly slow motion, this process repeats for seemingly every person on the plane in front of me. Like the little old lady who extracts her checkbook--her checkbook!--from her purse only after each of her 147 items has been rung up and bagged at the grocery, I have to quietly tolerate my fellow humans.

I will admit to feeling something akin to claustrophobia in these situations. Or, I assume that's what I'm feeling. My traffic and grocery situations are very, very similar, so I might not have it pegged exactly right. In all of these situations, I'm at the mercy of others, and what I perceive to be stupid humans. I try to control my growing rage, every time I have to experience it. In my trip to and from Ohio this time though, I was in the tail end of each of four planes. Big or small, each deplaning was torturous for me. Many others manage to sit patiently while I stand there and stew. Why, oh why, can I be on my feet with all my belongings, ten seconds after the bell, and no one else can?

Two & A Half Men Star Finds Religion, Loses Mind

Who knew crazy was contagious? From People.

As an atheist, I have a very low tolerance level for religious foolishness. I understand that I'm supposed to respect peoples' religious beliefs. In point of fact, I don't. Well, let's not be too harsh. I respect your right to believe anything you wish. But I reserve the right to think that those beliefs are stupid.

In the stupid category I would put radical, nutbar religions like Seventh Day Adventists. And into that religion did one Angus T. Jones apparently fall. In what I'm hoping is either a publicity stunt, or a classic Punk'd episode with costar Ashton Kutcher, Jones--who plays Jake Harper, the half man of the title--has come out against the show. The show that made him a star, and is solely responsible for anyone knowing or caring what he has to say.  As I said, I hope it's all a ruse. If it's not, he's playing with the livelihoods of his costars and those of everyone associated with the show, all based on nothing more than this addle-brained, crazy-pants religious sect. And I'd lay money on Angus being very embarrassed by all of this when he outgrows his "religious phase." I may actually believe he's for real if he gives back all of the money he's gained from his "filthy" show.

Back to Vegas

And back to work. My full-time job, my part-time job and my hobby job (this blog). Whew, that's a lot of work! Maybe I should've taken a little more time off? 

In any event, my arrival in Las Vegas tonight will be rather late, and work is rather early on Monday morning. So, unless I had an extraordinary stretch of time during my trip (I'm writing this before I've even left Vegas in the first place, how trippy is that? Hello, future me!), there won't be a Blast from the Past feature this week, and shoot, I might not even blog again until Monday night! So, please come back when I've gotten myself back together, and slogging on toward Christmas!

Quote of the Day: James Carville on Marcus Bachmann

Image from Gawker

"For Democrats, the good news is, we won the election. And for people who like to be entertained, the really good news is that Marcus Bachmann is coming back as a congressional spouse."

Source: Rolling Stone 

Reasons to be Thankful This Year!

Preach it, Rachel!

 

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

WKRP in Cincinnati, "Turkeys Away!"

If you ask any fan or even casual viewer of WKRP in Cincinnati to name their favorite episodes, this one is certain to be in their top three. And if you're too young to remember the show, or never watched it? Settle in for 24 minutes, and enjoy.

Back to Ohio, Day One

Assuming all went well, I will have landed just after this post appears on the blog. Today is the jet lag-heavy first day of the trip, after a night flight in from Las Vegas. No solid plans for the day either, just milling about with whichever family members have time for me. I may check in on the blog later, but don't known when or where yet. In the meantime, here's a classic Thanksgiving-themed video from my childhood: It's Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown!

Picture of the Day: Mitt Romney, Pumping Gas

How fast the mighty fall.

Source: Everywhere.

Greenlee Gazette on Vacation

Since I'm leaving on the night flight to Ohio on Tuesday, the likelihood of me getting much blogging done before then is very low. I'm going to try to put a few things up tonight, maybe seed the blog with a few choice time-release nuggets, and call it a night. I'll be popping in when possible, and my good friend Rev. Stu' of Stupid Monkey Planet of Primatheism will descend from the canopy if he's able. So the place won't be dead or anything, but it will be lighter than usual.

Of course, Thanksgiving week is traditionally one of the deadest blogging weeks there is. Trust me, your other haunts will be drying to a trickle too. So thanks for dropping by, please come back when there's more going on around here. And bring your friends!

PS. To really liven the place up, click GreenleeGazette, and let it run for a few minutes!

Hat tip to Alexander at VoenixRising.com.

Blast from the Past: Classic Hostess Commericals

Considering that the Hostess company died at the end of last week, I couldn't possibly use any other subject for my weekly Blast from the Past column, could I? I mean, yes, this is also Thanksgiving week, but for my final column before the holiday season starts, it has to be Hostess, a huge part of American pop culture, and especially any kid of the 70s like me.

Surely a company will swoop in and rescue our favorite brands. If they need any proof of the resonance of Twinkies, HoHos and other Hostess cupcakes,  they need look no further than this post!

And with that, we'll start our new (shortened) Thanksgiving week. Happy Monday, everybody.

Over Time with Bill Maher, November 16, 2012 (Final Episode of 2012)

Ep. 267 November 16, 2012 - Overtime

RIP Hostess Cupcakes & Wonder Bread

Image from source, Think Progress.

By now, you've heard the sad, sad news. Hostess, maker of Twinkies, HoHos, Sno-Balls, Suzy-Qs, Wonder Bread, Zingers, Dunkin' Stix, Cup Cakes, Ding Dongs, Fruit Pies and other tasty-but-bad-for-you treats, has passed away. As a child of the 70s, this is very sad new indeed, even if I've rarely purchased a Hostess product this century.

When I was a kid, Hostess and Dolly Madison marketed heavily to kids, in an era of much more limited media. We had three commercial channels on TV (especially Saturday mornings), we had the funny pages in the newspaper, comic books and that was about it. We got introduced to Twinkie the Kid and King Ding Dong along with all of the Kellogg's, Post and General Mills cereal characters. Since they were all animated characters, they blurred with our kids' programming. In the comics, they even had adventures with Superman and Batman! So, the Hostess company was really intertwined with 70s pop culture.

Image from New York Post.

My step-dad had a part time job at Kroger, and was able to liberate many products past their sell-by dates, and bring them home to us. That meant lots of fruits and veggies that needed the bad spots cut away. But it also meant a freezer full of wondrous things, and that included the Kroger version of Twinkies, Cup Cakes, HoHos and more. Nobody knew the difference when I pulled them out of my lunchbox, but I knew. By the time I got a paper route at 12 or 13, I was using my earnings to get the real thing: Hostess brands! There was also my Wise Cheez Waffies/Andy Capp's Hot Fries addictions, and my insatiable DC Comics lust, which was my eventual downfall as a paperboy, but that's beside the point. The point is, Hostess was as much a part of my childhood as The Super-Friends, The Six-Million Dollar Man, 45 records, Farrah Fawcett, ABBA and disco.

Image from MarsWillSendMore.
(Click to embiggen)

Much of the news has centered on a strike by union workers that effectively "killed" the company. But that doesn't tell the whole story. There were huge management salaries, and basic mismanagement for many years. Multiple bankruptcies. The company seemed close to death a couple of times before. So before you go finger-wagging at the unions, get the whole story. And be consoled by the fact that Hostess--as a whole, or in parts--will be revived by others.

You can pretty much guarantee that most if not all of their main snack cakes lines will be marketed by another company. Subsidiaries and offshoots may never come back, but who knows?  If you go to the Wikipedia pages for Kellogg's, Campbell's, Kraft Foods, Nestle, Hershey and others, you will find long lists of products you didn't realize were under one roof. You'll find brands that were bought and sold back and forth, consolidations, divestitures, spin-offs. Beatrice Foods at one time owned a bunch of popular brands, and they went under. Most of the product lines survived, still today produced by others. Kraft owns Nabisco, but it wasn't always that way. So, if the Hostess liquidation makes you sad, chin up. They'll be back. And, oh, it just hit me! Liquidation? Could that be the new variation of Twinkies, after fried? Liquid Twinkies! mmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Excerpt]

Hostess Blames Union For Bankruptcy After Tripling CEO’s Pay

Today, Hostess Brands inc. — the company famed for its sickly sweet desert snacks like Twinkies and Sno Balls — announced they’d be shuttering after more than eighty years of production. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Captain Obvious: There is No Gay Agenda Beyond Equality

I struggled with the title on this one. I knew I wanted it to be Captain Obvious, because this should be obvious. It is inspired by a video I found on Joe.My.God, one of my favorite internet outposts. The video is by Matt Barber, an oddly fixated anti-gay activist. I do not know what drives this man, whether it be a deep-seated sexual identity problem, or maybe he's always mistaken for gay? I don't know, but he thinks about teh gay more than I do, and I'm gay. [Story continues below]


Anyway, this Barber dude's basic premise is that gay people don't merely want marriage equality, and civil rights parity. We want to destroy what marriage means. We want to rend the fabric of society, topple cultural pillars, kick down the picket fences, and dry-hump the Washington Monument. . .or something. But he's wrong. Really, really wrong. The fact that he's (allegedly) straight, and so fixated on gay people ought to be a clue that he might be a little around the bend. But his reasoning is so shaky, so hard to lay out logically that. . .well. . .that Captain Obvious needs to pay him a visit.

Now, if my goal--if all individual gay, married couples (or those aspiring to marriage)--was to tear marriage asunder, tell me something. How did we arrive at this goal? Were there meetings? Is there a leader? Do we pay membership dues, have a secret handshake? 'Cause, I wasn't invited, and yet I'm legally married to my husband, and have been for 4½ years now. So far, we haven't left a trail of destroyed heterosexual marriages in our wake. In fact, if there has been one negative result from the whole affair, it might be that there isn't as much >ahem< action as there used to be. That sounds like marriage to me!

So, Mr. Barber. Get this through your thick, Jesus-drenched, boxing-addled skull: gay people haven't set out to destroy the meaning or institution of marriage. We have no interest in ripping out the foundations of civilization, or any other vague, meaningless symbolic structures. We want equality under the law, and nothing more. Your conspiracy theory is making you look like an idiot. And your obsession is making you look kinda. . .well. . .gay.

Karl Rove in More Trouble?

Yeah, keep smilin' Karl. . .

As an atheist, I can't pray without feeling like an idiot. But I can still cross my fingers and hope like nobody's business. Oh great noodly FSM, please do me a solid, and let me see a Karl Rove frog-march before I die?

[Excerpt]

Watchdog: Karl Rove And His Crossroads GPS Broke Election Law By Failing To Disclose Donors

I've been waiting so long. . .oh please, oh please!

. . .Federal law requires any outside group that makes an independent expenditure to disclose the donors who contributed to pay for such ads. Groups like Crossroads GPS normally evade this law by claiming none of their contributions were earmarked for a specific purpose. At an August 2012 fundraiser, however, Rove said an anonymous donor gave Crossroads GPS $3 million specifically for the Ohio Senate race, and told Rove it was a “matching challenge” dependent on the group raising another $3 million for the race. Crossroads GPS ended up spending $6.36 million on independent expenditures in the Ohio race, but did not disclose any donors in nine reports the group filed with the FEC. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Meanwhile, on Facebook: Tea Party "What People Think" Meme Hits Bull's Eye

Perfect.

Soledad O'Brien Makes Rep. Joe Heck (NV) Look Stupid

I've never, as a Nevadan, been very fond of Joe Heck. Sure, I don't find his policy ideas palatable, but I'm going to have to cop to a little trifle that bugs me almost as much: if you slapped one of those FLDS wigs on him, he'd look exactly like one of those Warren Jeffs "sister wives." Which has nothing to do with anything, except that he's my Congressman, and I can't help seeing it. Anyway, Soledad O'Brien made him look extra doofy Thursday.

 

Fat-burning Pepsi Cola?

I just have one question: does it come in diet? Heh. Anyway, I drink copious amounts of diet sodas by each major maker, Coca-Cola, Pepsico and Doctor Pepper/Seven Up. I've mainlined every known artificial sweetner, and in quantities that have been known to kill, or seriously mess up laboratory rats. What damage could "Pepsi Special" do that hasn't been already done? I'm in!

[Excerpt]

Pepsi Special Sold In Japan Claims To Block Fat

What if you could eat a plate of French fries, loaded with calories, and not absorb the fat because of what you’re drinking. . .

Read more at: CBS Pittsburgh

Thinking Secession is "American?" You Need Republican Rehab

Karl Rove in Trouble?

Image from source, Think Progress.

For the first two thirds of the Dubya administration, I wished all sorts of festering pustules and other maladies upon Karl Rove. There were a lot of figures in that group for me to loathe, but Rove was at the top of my list. After the outing of CIA agent, Valerie Plame Wilson, the heat was turned up under Rove, and I had dreams of the proverbial frog-march in shackles, but it never came to pass. Still, Rove was ejected from the White House, and installed as a lowly "Republican strategist" on FOX "News." Where he clearly fit in.

Flash forward a bit, and Rove had become a power-player, a king-maker! I sat stupefied, wondering how this lowly, sleazy, skeevy toad could have landed so squarely on his cloven feet. To make matters worse, he was playing both roles, the behind-the-scenes (purse) string puller, and the on-camera commenter. If I happened upon FOX, and caught him and Liz Cheney at the same time, it was enough to almost give me an aneurism.

And then? I had a schadenfreudegasm. All of Rove's best-laid plans collapsed on election night. Even better, he was on camera as it toppled, awkwardly and futilely trying to pull his alternate reality into existence. He had egg on his face. And he spent the (Sheldon Adelson) casino's money with no return! Is someone measuring him for cement shoes? Well, we don't know yet. But it would seem that Rove might have other problems. . .

[Excerpt]

EXCLUSIVE: Karl Rove’s Crossroads GPS Never Filed Legally Required Registration

When Karl Rove’s Crossroads Grassroots Policy Strategies (GPS) formed in 2010, it established its official address in Warrenton, VA, and registered with the Internal Revenue Service a tax-exempt 501(c)(4) “social welfare organization.” It apparently did not, however, register as a charitable organization with the Commonwealth of Virginia, as appears was legally required. . .

Read more at: Think Progress

Every Obama Conspiracy in One Diagram (Mother Jones)

So much crazy in such a little space!

Click to embiggen, or go to source: MotherJones

Hat tip to Facebook/high school friend Katie Ryan

St. Elmo's Liar (He Didn't Do It)

I haven't watched Sesame Street since my sister was a li'l bit, which is probably around 38 years ago or so. But I was one of the original watchers of the program (along with The Electric Company, Zoom, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood and Villa Alegre!), and have been a fan of Jim Henson's Muppets for just as long (even Fraggle Rock and The Land of Gorch). Beyond all of that, I'm especially irritated by the heinous stereotype of homosexuality=pedophilia, and of false accusations. This story has both, and the accuser should be sued and stomped. Period. Generations of kids love Elmo, and in one false accusation, he and his creator have been sullied. Shameful, sad, and just plain wrong.

[Excerpt]

St. Elmo's Liar

The man who accused Kevin Clash—the voice of Elmo—of having a sexual relationship with him when he was underage has recanted that claim. This message is brought to you by the letter "L" for lyin'-ass famewhore. I hope Clash, who was still punished for violating company policies and abusing company Internet resources, will be able to put this behind him.  . .

Found at: BoyCulture


PS. It should be noted that I don't usually steal entire posts from other bloggers. But it is late, and I found Matthew's post, and thought it was important to get it up before I forgot. It's terrible to be falsely accused, and important to get the word out that Mr. Clash is not guilty of any crime.

Mission Incomprehensible (Rocky Mountain Mike Parody)

I thought about this earlier, but I don't have a recording studio like (or the immense talents of) Rocky Mountain Mike. I mean, how do you turn the David Petraeus infidelity scandal into something negative toward Democrats if you're FOX "News?" Well let's find out, as Rupert Murdoch gets his instructions from on high (presumably Mount Limbaugh). . .

Quote of the Day: The Rude Pundit on Rush Limbaugh

Lee Papa, The Rude Pundit

There are those sad days, where--even though I've been blogging for 5½ years--I realize that I'm sadly one of the lesser lights in the blogosphere. Or, at least, compared to Lee Papa, The Rude Pundit I'm just an also-ran. Check out the first bit from his most recent post:

"Think of radio host Rush Limbaugh at this point as an old, wounded walrus, lying half on the rocks of an Alaskan island, half in the water, bellowing sadly into the Arctic night, waiting to be finished off by either a polar bear or a killer whale, its blubber being enough to keep other beasts warm for the entire approaching winter. . ."

Does it get better than that? I've got so much room for improvement. . .

Read the rest at: The Rude Pundit

Daily Show: "Whine Country" Conservatives, Post-election

More on the butt-hurt conservatives, from the amazing Jon Stewart.

Would a Patriot Secede?

I know I've already talked about this subject, but it's irking me. Okay, it's a fairly new meme, at most a couple of days old. But already, I'm sick of the "20 states are petitioning the government to secede from the United States." It was a cute little protest movement by people who were butt-hurt over an election that didn't go their way. There is a section on whitehouse.gov that lets anyone start a petition. If you get enough signatories, you get a response from the White House. And--big whoop--if any of these 20 (probably more than 20 by now) gets enough people to sign on, presumably an embarrassed President Obama meekly saying "please don't do it!" in front of a joint session of Congress or something.

It isn't surprising that the secession "movement" has caught a bit of buzz. It's funny in an odd way that anyone would take it even half-seriously. The reason this bugged me again, is today on our local Vegas right-wing chatter AM station (one of them anyway), the host--a dolt named Kevin Wall--did several segments on the story as if it were a terrific idea. Think of all those federal taxes that would instead go to our state! Our schools! Yeah, except it would mean no federal support. On anything. It would require a passport for tourists to come to Las Vegas. It would require a currency exchange too. Not to mention the fact that Nevada went for Obama. Those are just three of hundreds of reasons why it's a bad idea. Strike that, it's a ridiculous idea, made doubly so by the fact that the same people that profess patriotism would so casually separate from the country.

President Obama won, and will be President until January 2017. Live with it you whiny little faux "patriots."

Skeeter: It Gets Better (Rocky Mountain Mike)

Rocky Mountain Mike may not have quite as much to do without ol' Willard Mitt Romney to kick around any more. But whatever happened to Skeeter?

America the Stupid: Several States Petitioning for Secession

I puzzled over putting this story under "America the Stupid." But, I don't have a "Sore Losers" banner. Maybe I should make one, because it would seem that the butt-hurt (another potential banner) in Right Wing World has caused several states to politely request secession. Well, not the states. Rather, people from those states claiming to speak for those states. It's all a waste of time, for several reasons, a) it's stupid, b) the people signing these things very likely don't have standing, c) some seem to be from other states, and d) most of the states that voted for Mitt Romney get more government assistance than the Obama states. Beyond all that, it's just not going to happen. The logistics would be a nightmare.

Goodbye Texas, hello Puerto Rico? Fair trade?

But it shows you something about these so-called patriots. They lose an election, and they want to dissolve the union. Who are the "America haters" again? And how ironic that right now Puerto Rico is hoping to become a state. Tell you what: Puerto Rico can come in, Texas has to leave. We'll build that fence on the north side of the state, and we don't even have to add a star to the flag!

[Excerpt]

Secession petitions filed on White House Web site
From states across the country, Americans have filed petitions on the White House Web site seeking to secede from the union and form new state governments. While most of the petitions come from states that supported Mitt Romney in last week’s election, a few swing states and even the deep blue Northeast are represented. . .

Read more at: Washington Post

Mitt Romney Rapidly Losing Facebook "Friends"

Images from source, Huffington Post

After running a blog for over five years, and its attendant Twitter and Facebook offshoots, I know how fickle readership could be. No offense to you, dear reader, but paying attention to the number of followers I have on each of these platforms can be very, very frustrating! People who use RSS readers are the most fickle, followed by Twitter followers. Both of those groups will dump me in a heartbeat.  My Facebook friends have been a very small group, but so far very loyal. They mostly click "like" and then stick around.

Mitt Romney isn't feeling the love. His Facebook page--not the campaign site, his regular one--is losing "friends" in real time. It's kind of fascinating to watch. Just go there, wait 15 seconds, and refresh. WHOOSH, there goes 15 friends! It's kind of sad, and I'm sure there's eventually going to be a floor to this. He's not gonna drop to zero. But won't it be fun to see how far it goes? Okay, so I'm not done with my schadenfreude. But I'm fascinated that people actually take the time to unfriend things. I've got stuff in my "likes" from my first day on Facebook.

[Excerpt]

'Disappearing Romney' Website Shows Candidate's Plunging Facebook Popularity 

Mitt Romney is losing a lot of "friends" after his defeat in the presidential race last week.
Newly launched website "Disappearing Romney" tracks the onetime presidential hopeful's decline in popularity by providing graphs that illustrate his official Facebook Page's dramatic loss of "Likes. . ."

Read more at: Huffington Post

Allen West Still Will Not Concede

This is what crazy looks like. Image from Salon.

The Republican Party of late--infused with the nutty tea baggers--has no shortage of crazy. But no one this side of Michele Bachmann has their crazy so fully on display as Rep. Allen West of Florida. Or rather, soon-to-be-former Rep. Allen West. You know how paranoid Obama haters are saying that if he'd lost the election, he wouldn't have left the White House? That's kind of what's going on with West: he simply won't concede.

It would be rude to call West a "token" African American in the GOP, but it isn't far off. After all, Rush Limbaugh wields West (and Condoleezza Rice and Clarence Thomas) as a talisman against charges of racism in the Republican Party. I heard him doing it as recently as Monday afternoon. For me, it says all I need to know that this wack-a-doodle is held up by Republicans as some sort of example of. . .well. . .anything, really. He's nuts.

[Excerpt]

Over his dead body!

Democrat Patrick Murphy declared victory in Florida after a partial recount found that he has a lead of 2,400 votes. But Allen West still refuses to concede. . .

Read more at: Salon

Our Long National Nightmare is Over

Click to embiggen.

For at least the past year, and actually for the better part of the last two, we've had campaigns up and running for a Presidential election looming on the horizon. For most of that time, the election felt distant, and the early squabbles of the GOP primary fight felt way too early. Think back to those days: Donald Trump pretending he was going to run. Sarah Palin teasing her easily teased fans (for big bucks, it would seem). There was a whole clown car's worth of both declared and potential candidates. Early on, I started a graphic that added candidates as they either declared, or whose profiles rose to the point of serious discussion. I put a green check mark on those who officially threw their hats into the ring, and then a red X as they either dropped out, declined to run, or were defeated in the primary.

So, I decided to update my photo chart, with the entirely checked off list. Happily, there are no green check marks left to be found. Some of these people are so obscure, even I forget who they are!

And for the first time in a long time, we have a Monday without this looming event on our horizon. We have at least two years before we much have to think about 2016, except in the broad abstract. 2014 will come much sooner than that. But for now, our long national nightmare is over!

Blast from the Past: Political Schoolhouse Rock!

This week's Blast from the Past is political in nature, because of the torturous two-year campaign we've all been through. WHAT? Yes, more politics, but the best, most patriotism-inducing, rah-rah America loving kind of politics you can get! Back during the bicentennial celebration, ABC produced several patriotic, political Schoolhouse Rock segments, to augment their grammar and math ditties. Some of them became the most famous of them all, including I'm Just a Bill and The Constitution.

And that will do it for this week. I'm off tomorrow, and salute our veterans for it! Have a great week.

Phrases I'd Like to Never Hear Again

To quote Ann Romney, "Stop it." Everything on this list needs to be out of the lexicon, immediately.

• At the end of the day
• Job creators
• Unskewed polls
• Death tax
• Death panels
• Hey, girl
• That awkward moment
• Protect marriage
• Legitimate rape
• Corporations are people

That'll do for now. . . .

In Case You Missed It: David Frum on Fleeced and Exploited Conservatives

David Frum was a speechwriter for George W. Bush. As such, he is regarded as a douche by a whole lot of liberals. He kinda is, in some ways, but he's also one of the only (sometimes) sensible conservatives in the talking head universe. Watch this video, and see what I mean. Frum understands what happened to conservatives in this years election. But do they?

Over Time with Bill Maher, November 9, 2012

Ep. 266 November 9, 2012 - Overtime

David Petraeus Resigning CIA Post, Extramarital Affair

Image from source, CNN

Whoa.

[Excerpt]

Source: CIA director David Petraeus submits resignation over extramarital affair

Petraeus issued a statement announcing his resignation, saying, "After being married for over 37 years, I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair. "Such behavior is unacceptable, both as a husband and as the leader of an organization such as ours. This afternoon, the president graciously accepted my resignation. . ."

Read more at: CNN

Mitt Romney "Shell-Shocked" by Election Result

Poor Mittens. Image from source, CBSNews.com

It is very difficult not to feel a huge wave of schadenfreude, even days after President Obama's decisive reelection victory. Especially when you find out that the Romney team--and Mitt Romney himself--was so deeply into the Right Wing World bubble, that they believed the spin, rather than reality. It is also difficult not to feel compassion for Romney, Paul Ryan and their wives. When you really believe you are going to win, and then the rug is pulled out from you at the last minute? That's gotta hurt. So, it is with a mixture of chuckles and "awwws" that I read this story. What's your take?

[Excerpt]

Adviser: Romney "shellshocked" by loss

Mitt Romney's campaign got its first hint something was wrong on the afternoon of Election Day, when state campaign workers on the ground began reporting huge turnout in areas favorable to President Obama: northeastern Ohio, northern Virginia, central Florida and Miami-Dade. Then came the early exit polls that also were favorable to the president. . .

Read more at: CBS News

Captain Obvious: It's Time for Some People to Leave the Stage

We haven't heard from Captain Obvious for a while, and I thought it was time. But what is exceedingly obvious this week? Well, one very obvious thing is that the Right Wing World bubble caused a very large segment of the United States to be shocked that President Obama won re-election. They'd been assured that Mitt Romney was going to win. And not in a squeaker. It was going to be a landslide. Take the real result (332 for Obama, 206 for Romney) and flip it, and that was supposed to be Mitt's margin of victory.

So, herewith are the people and entities who should never be trusted again, assuming that they ever were worth any trust. In most cases, embarrassment should drive them off the stage. But it won't

Right-wingers trust this guy. They shouldn't.

Karl Rove - Yes, Turd Blossom himself. He's called "The Architect" by dunderhead Sean Hannity, but the architect of what exactly? He got George W. Bush elected in a swirl of controversy, and a loss in the popular vote. He managed to get W. re-elected, by smearing a war hero, and demonizing gay people. He participated in blowing the cover of a CIA agent and the cover of everyone she worked with. In 2006, he bungled his role in getting Republicans elected, insisting he had "the math," when in reality, the Republicans suffered a historic loss. He has been a sleaze of major proportions for his entire career.

Somehow, he parlayed a dubious success rate into becoming one of the largest money-wranglers for Republican candidates (and against Democrats), while commenting on FOX "News" as though he were a disinterested observer. The awkward nerd in Rove always put a lie to his power player status. With his magic marker and whiteboard, and his pudgy, unkempt appearance, he came across as not ready for prime time. He has proved to have an entirely undeserved reputation. Oh, the sleazy part is still there, in full force. His Crossroads GPS and American Crossroads groups would say anything in their ads, and Rove's money gathering talents are legendary. But his success rate is virtually nil. And right to the end, Rove again insisted this time that he had the math. Everyone else was wrong, Karl was right. Nope. Karl was wrong. And there is no reason whatsoever that he should have a vaunted place in punditry. His opinions, his methodology, everything he brings to the table. . .worthless.  Go away, Karl.

"Hot Librarian" is becoming "Shrewish Schoolmarm"

Sarah Palin - Caribou Barbie was plucked from obscurity just a little over four years ago, though it seems much longer ago. She came as a nearly blank slate, a rock-ribbed conservative who believed what she believed because she believed it. To call Sarah shallow would be accurate, were she not also empty. Hollow. She was a vessel waiting to be filled. And oh, how she crammed for her interviews, and her debate with Joe Biden. She was a star, an instant celebrity in Right Wing World. She didn't know much, but it didn't matter. She had a megawatt smile, and would say with conviction whatever she was supposed to say. So what, if it didn't make much sense?

Since her loss in 2008, she's managed to keep her profile high. There have been reality shows for her, her daughter, her husband. She's opined on multiple subjects, being employed by--naturally--FOX "News." Notably, the topics she addresses are very, very rarely in her wheelhouse. Doesn't matter, she strings together run-on sentences, with words like freedom, liberty, America, and phrases like, all across this country of ours and our God-given, freedom loving liberties. Also, too. But even with experience, and with her cramming sessions, Palin still really knows no more than she ever did. Her opinion makes no difference. She's a half-term Governor from a remote, sparsely populated state. Her input on the 2012 election had no more significance than the fact that she'd participated in an election before. There is no need for this woman's opinion on anything, ever. Go away, Sarah.

This is a Dick.

Dick Morris - Morris worked closely with Bill and Hillary Clinton back in the day. He got fired after getting caught in a scandal involving hookers and a foot fetish. Ordinarily, that would get a political player/pundit embarrassed out of politics. Not with Morris. He just turned on his former employers, and parlayed his "talents" into being a turncoat on--wait for it--FOX "News." They were happy to have even such a disgraced member of Team Clinton, since he was willing to trash them, and any other Democrat in the news.

Morris is eminently mockable, with a theatrical manner about him. He sounds like Harvey Fierstein's less talented (and less funny) cousin, with a slightly boozy, moist-mouthed delivery. He's no stranger to strained hyperbole, and hilariously wrong predictions. The final embarrassment, which should usher Morris off the stage permanently is his insistence that Mitt Romney would win in a landslide. He was declaring this right up until the end, asking viewers to follow his election night tweets on Twitter. And then, when it became obvious that Obama was going to win, Morris went dark. Wimp. Go away, Dick.

Just. . .no.

FOX "News" - It has been true for the entirety of the cable "news" channel's existence, that they are a far-right leaning opinion channel. Though they have for years tried to downplay it, nobody really doubts it. But beyond picking stories or angles that play to their audience, they've actively tailored the facts, pinning them, cutting them, restitching them, patching them. . .all to make their audiences happy. When they're not trying to alternately scare them of course.

But FOX--along with the rest of Right Wing World's blogs, radio stations and of course, Rush Limbaugh (who all belong on this list)--snowed their audience. They unskewed the "skewed" polls. They trotted out Morris and Palin and Rove to soothe them. They pooh-pooed Nate Silver and other real world pollsters. They lulled their audience into believing that the Mitt Romney juggernaut was going to smash that Communist, Marxist, Maoist, socialist, Kenyan, homosexual, black guy! Why they did this, when reality had to intrude, is difficult to say. Maybe they were into their own hype, heads up their own asses, you might say? Don't know. But I do know, they shouldn't hold the power they do. Go away, FOX "News."

Donald Trump: Trump has been a talentless, charisma-free jackass, blowhard from day one. He has been a front-and-center fool for the entirety of his dubious celebrity. In the best of circumstances, he's made fun of. For his hair, for his bluster, for his over-the-top ego. For some of that time, he seemed to be in on the joke.

Why has this man ever had credibility?

Not anymore. Trump has turned humorless, and his ego knows no bounds. His hyperbole and exaggerations are effortless to disprove, and yet he's constantly spewing. His ham-handed, graceless efforts at injecting himself into politics have been spectacular failures, all having self-promotion at their heart. His transparent claims that he had investigators and evidence that Obama was foreign born were baseless.  He claimed to have an "October Surprise" to change the course of the presidential election, and his (oh-so-gullible) right-wing fans waited breathlessly. It turned out to be a big nothing-ball, that should have ended any following he may have had. And yet, there he was on election night, declaring the end of America, and demanding revolution. Go away, Donald. Jackass.

Honorable mentions: Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, Peggy Noonan, Glenn Beck, Gretchen Carlson, Steve Doocey, Bill O'Reilly, Janine Turner, Victoria Jackson, Megyn Kelly,  John Boner Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney, Michael Reagan, George Will, and every other false-narrative-spinning, lowest-common-denominator-pandering, low-information-voter-hoodwinking, reality-ignoring idiot out there! Go! Go away!